Tranquility Now!

A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh,

but envy makes the bones rot.

Proverbs 14:30

It's been months since I have sat on the other side of this screen to write from my heart.  Not that I haven't been writing, oh no!  I am a student. A full-time Psychology student.  Writing takes up half of my life right now.  Since the fall of last year, however, finding the time to sink into what God places on my heart has been a fleeting desire and not a pressing need.  Today is sunny out; I can feel the warm rays on my arm as I sit comfortably in my arm chair.  Homework is absolutely NOT the activity I most want to pursue.  So here I sit, with a small word to share with you, my friends.

Today in my reading in the Book of Proverbs, I came across this tiny little verse nestled among the rest, "A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot."  Something about those words fell into my soul in a strange way.  On one hand they were refreshing and cool like a drink of water on a summer day.  On the other hand, they were bitter and scary.  Do I have a tranquil heart?  Am I at peace with everything that God has brought to me in this season of life?  Or am I envious of the season of life of others?  As a mom of three rowdy little boys (can you say "Calgon?"), a student in an intense program of study, a wife, sister, daughter, and friend (and I use that term cautiously, because I am not really sure how to bend the definition to the MIA person that I am lately!), sometimes I feel as though the responsibilities which tug at my attention wear me down to a place of begging for someone else's life...ANY TAKERS?!

A couple of months ago, my husband suffered a severe broken leg and dislocated ankle.  His surgery was invasive and painful.  His recovery has been difficult and straining.  Although we are definitely on the other side of crazy now, we have had to make some major adjustments to compensate for the extra time and effort that it takes to get everyone ready and out the door every day, when a huge half of the team is very limited in his ability to contribute!  For a while, I would cry to myself at night wondering the ubiquitous, "Why me?"  I couldn't understand why, even though this is really not such a major setback, that this had to happen now?  Why not winter when we didn't care if we were stuck indoors? Why not summer when my teacher/coach husband and kids didn't have to be shuffled to and from school? Better yet, why not NEVER!  I mean, come on, is there really a good time for this? And it's bad enough that for the past few months before this, I had quietly been jealous of the social life of my friends.  While they were celebrating birthdays and having girls' nights, I have been writing papers and celebrating good marks.  While they were studying great women's Bible studies, I was studying personality theory.  Now, on top of our already hectic life and sorely neglected house, my husband has been involuntarily relegated to chief couch warmer and pillow fluffer. Poor. Pitiful. Me.

Who am I kidding?  Poor pitiful me?  I would say that of the two of us, I got the better end of the broken-foot deal by a mile.  And my busy-ness is the bustling of a growing family and the joy of finishing my degree.  There's some perspective for ya, Julie!  The reality is that while I am busy throwing my pity party of one, God is busy. Period.  He is working.  He is doing things.  He wants me to join in with Him.  He wants me to experience peace. He wants me to have joy in the journey, no matter the circumstances.  He wants me to have health, life, and tranquility that comes from laboring with Him on my lumpy, patchy, un-kept, pasture-in-progress-of-a-life.  Instead, I have been rotting my soul longing for the "someday" of basking in the lush, beautifully tended meadows of the greener field next door.  I forget that those beautiful, bountiful fields take the time of the seasons, effort, and WORK.  It isn't easy.  In fact, farmers call it back-breaking work for a reason. 

What I need now more than ever is life in my flesh, not rot in my bones.  Fullness of life within us is what thrusts us forward toward purposefulness and usefulness.  That tranquility that is SO longed for cannot be achieved by jealousy and envy of anything or anyone around us.  A tranquil heart is working and resting with Him, whatever the season of life he brings us through.  A tranquil heart finds Him as the Breath of Life in our tired bodies when we feel we just cannot go any further and realize we are not alone.  

What about you?  Could you use the cool refreshment of tranquility?  Here is the prayer of my heart today:

"Lord have mercy on me.  You are Good.  You are faithful.  Nothing surprises You.  Forgive me for feeling self-pity when I should see blessings.  Forgive me for the envy of my heart.  Breathe Your breath of tranquility deep within my soul and let me move forward in Your purposes and according to Your will.  I desire to find favor only in You.  In Your Son, Jesus', name."

-julie

Hey Alma...Check Your Battery!

 Proverbs 8:10-11

Take my instruction instead of silver,
and knowledge rather than choice gold, 

for wisdom is better than jewels,
and all that you may desire cannot compare with her. 

As a mom with three boys, I have been trying to learn to tune-out.  I am not trying to be a tuned-out mother, but you have to learn to tune some things out for your own sanity and so that they will learn to work things out on their own.  But the fact is, I have yet to perfect the tuning-out that my own mother was so, incredibly good at.  You know if you have kids...mom, Mom, MOM!!!  My kids, however, do not approve of my tune-out venture. If I am distracted or ignore them even a little when they are trying to get my attention, they are relentless.  In fact, my sweet little Sebastian has even come over to me, patted me repeatedly on the arm and said, "M-OM!  DO YOU HEAR ME???  I was CALLING you!"  Maybe I'm getting better at it than I think...and maybe my Middle Son is gonna lose a hand if he keeps that up! No te metas conmigo!

Ever feel like you've gotten a little TOO good at tuning-out?  Ever have one of those moments when you know that God isn't just gently calling your name, but patting you repeatedly on the forehead to get your attention?  You know...those times when that still, small voice is just too still and small for your distracted and ignoring ears and it takes some serious stomping and shouting to wake you up?

This has never happened to me...I'm just askin'! (Thanks Mark)  

Well, the truth is, this has happened to me more times than I care to admit.  Quite often it happens when I stray from the basics.  Lately I have found myself fumbling through my quality time with God.  With school, and a new born, and the kids, and my marriage and so on, it's easy to get distracted and marginalize my prayer time.  Or I will thumb through the familiar pages of Scripture without really taking the time to digest the Words therein.  I know that the more I do that, the more my ears grow weak to His words.  Why is it that I allow myself to go through the motions without really listening?  A weak, lackluster spiritual life just makes me weak and lackluster in every other area of life.  And yet I do it anyway!

But, there is too much that needs me to be strong in every way to let myself dwell in this pattern.  What I need is a wise approach to getting back into the meat of the Word.  What I need is a hearing aid..with a STRONG battery! So, I go back to the basics of an old fashioned quiet time.  A quite time in my teens consisted of a time of prayer and meditation and a focused time in a devotional book by Oswald Chambers called My Utmost for His Highest or using some reading plan.  One of my favorite plans for going straight to the Scriptures is The Proverbs Plan.  Yes, I admit it, I am a Proverbs junkie!  But it is, after all, the Book of Wisdom.  Did you know there are 31 chapters in the Book of Proverbs?  What makes this great is that by reading one chapter a day, you can read through the book in a month, thus, The Proverbs Plan!  In case we've all forgotten, a wise approach to reading the Bible is not holding it in your hands, letting it open, and reading where you land!  A wise approach is diving into God's Word and reaching for every morsel you can get.  I love Proverbs because it seems as though it doesn't matter how many hundreds of times I read it, it speaks to me in a new way.  Remember that wisdom is more than knowledge...it's the maturity to know how to apply that knowledge.  And as I grow and mature, the Words of Proverbs have taken on new meanings. 

You know how I said that God sometimes has to speak a little louder to get my attention?  Well, I included the above Proverb for that very reason.  I have been wrestling with my own selfish desires...letting my priorities and my self sit squarely on top of my desire for Godliness and glorifying Him.  This morning I opened to Proverbs 8 (as it is the 8th of January) and here were His Words.  Take a second and read them again.  Funny thing is that my nickname of sorts is Jewels.  Not Jules, the way most "Julie"s would spell it but Jewels because my dear friend Nesha always said, "I like to spell it this way 'cause you're like a jewel!" (It's way better in her thick Texan accent!)  So here are God's words to me telling me that, in no uncertain terms, Wisdom is better than ME!  Yeah, I hear ya, Lord....LOUD AND CLEAR!  

The thing is, there are always going to be distractions and things pressing for our priorities, but sometimes we need to practice tuning-out those things and turning up our hearing aid.  Prayer and studying His words are the way to be completely tuned-in to Him. Our growth, our maturity in the Lord, and our desire to glorify God have got to come first.  We have to want wisdom more.  More than silver. More than gold or anything else.  Yes, even more than ourselves.

Heed the Call

The Call of Wisdom

Proverbs 1:20-23

Wisdom cries aloud in the street,
in the markets she raises her voice;
at the head of the noisy streets she cries out;
at the entrance of the city gates she speaks:
“How long, O simple ones, will you love being simple?
How long will scoffers delight in their scoffing
and fools hate knowledge?
If you turn at my reproof,
behold, I will pour out my spirit to you;
I will make my words known to you.

Lately my heart has been broken.  On more than one occasion.  This condition has nothing to do with my relationship with my husband.  It has come from seeing Christians struggle with the consequences of their choices.  My heart aches every time I shed a tear with a friend whose life is falling apart at the seams, and the common theme is, "I just wish I knew what to do!"  The infamous statement which, if brought to its conclusion, would hold all the answers to happiness and fulfillment.  I have to admit, I cringe a little when I hear a sister in Christ utter those words.  Not because I have no compassion for her situation, but because I have heard those words spoken more to gain validation for her poor decision making than sincere desire to walk in Godly knowledge. "O, sad me!  Look at this situation I am in!  It is hopeless!  I have tried everything, and I just wish I knew what to do! I have tried everything....feel for me!"  I say this all the time, but it takes one to know one, and I have definitely been one!  I have been on the other side of that line of thinking, so I recognize the struggle all too well.  And although I, too, have lead myself down far too many destructive paths and cried out for direction, all is not lost.  There is, in fact, a very real way of knowing exactly what to do; each time, every time, in every situation. 

What I had to recognize, however, is that the path of walking in Godly knowledge isn't something I can just run to in times of chaos and expect to find conclusive answers that solve my problems.  I had to make the decision to get out of my simple way of thinking and run headlong into wisdom.  Wisdom doesn't happen overnight; it isn't just getting knowledge.  Wisdom is gaining knowledge and understanding and the maturity to know how to apply it.  And the only real Source for knowledge and understanding is the Word of God.  One of the first chapters of scripture that I memorized was I Corinthians 13.  Verse eleven says, "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways."  That is maturity.  That is acquisition of knowledge and understanding.  That is the path to wisdom.  Put those childish ways behind you once and for all!

The problem is that our culture doesn't make this easy, even for Christians.  Our culture wants to spoon-feed babies.  Our culture wants to feed our selfish, what-makes-me-happy attitudes until we are fat and unhappy and surviving on anti-depressants.  Our culture wants to draw us as far away from wisdom and truth as possible by distorting the very foundation of God's Word.  Our culture has dictated a reinterpretation of the very core of who we were designed to be to the point that instead of maturing into Christian adulthood, we have lead ourselves down paths of spiritual immaturity and folly (more on that in a later post).  We have embraced our simplicity. We have rejected our foundational truths. We have rejected Wisdom.  And then we have cried aloud, "I wish I knew what to do," and felt frustrated when His words have seemed like riddles.

The way to "know what to do" is to seek Him.  It sounds so easy, but it isn't just a matter of saying, "I'm just trustin' the Lord."  It is seeking Him.  Pursuing Him.  Running headlong into the Word and finding out the Truth of Scripture.  It starts with knowing who you are in Christ.  Once you know who you are then you can begin to know what He wants you to do.  And not just during the difficult situations...because those will still come...but every day.  Seeking truth and applying it to your life is what wisdom is all about. That is how we mature and leave our folly behind.  That is how we step off of the path that leads to heartbreak and destruction and onto a new path that leads to abundant life.

This blog is about that abundant life.  This blog is about seeking truth and knowing who you are in Christ.  This blog is about journeying together on the path towards spiritual maturity.  And about seeking wisdom when she cries aloud.  This blog is about remembering that there is a Guide when we don't know what to do.  God wants us to be wise. Wisdom is calling.  In 2012, I am committing to reject simplicity and go deeper into His Word and into His heart.  I am committing to be useful.  I am committing to be so filled with His love that it pours out of me like a salve for the brokenhearted.  I am committing to be a wise girl so that I will know when and where to turn and so that He can pour His Spirit out to me and make His Words known to me.  Wanna join me?!  Heed the Call!